Broken Promises
RG Veda Fanfiction written for Yuletide 2004.
We all have promises we long to keep, promises that we spend our entire life protecting and treasuring. These are the promises that we constantly attempt to fulfill, no matter the hardships and the toils doing so brings. These promises are very dear to us, fueling us with energy to live. Each promise that we make holds a very special meaning to us, promises we make to those we hold affection for, to those we do not want to fail.
There are three promises I must fulfill.
The first promise is a promise of revenge. It is a promise that I made to my clan, for my dear parents, and for myself. It is a promise of retribution, a promise for all the blood that was wrongly spilt by the hands of Taishakuten. It is precious, the blood of my clan. Blood that we have always been prided on being gifted with.
I was taught at a young age the truth worth of the Souma blood. Our clan, being one who was praised for its work in medicine, held much pride in the fact that our blood could bring about life. The blood that came from our hearts and flowed through our veins could gift someone with eternity. We held much pride in our gift, believing that we were blessed in receiving such a legacy.
However, the legacy of our blood was the reason that my clan was murdered by the cruel hands of Taishakuten. He destroyed all that I loved and cared dearly about for his own selfish reasons. There are still times that I can feel the warmth of my parents blood splattered on me, see their breath fade until it was no more, feel the emptiness of my heart…
And although this had been done because of our blood, I still believe that the blood that flows within me is special. This blood is the blood that connects me to my clan; it is the blood that links me to my mother and father. The blood that swells deep within me is the blood that defines me as a Souma.
It is a blood that I am proud of. With this blood, with this honor, with my pride, I have vowed to gain revenge. No matter the cost, I will achieve my goal.
That was my first promise.
The second promise I made was for my little nymph-like prince. He is a child that shares my loneliness within him; he is a child who has relieved me of my loneliness, allowing me to realize that I am not the only one in pain. Together, we are the last of our clans, of our people. We hold the burden of living and understanding why we are alone.
But we aren’t alone. We have one another, he and I. His small arms wrap around me, holding onto me, his warmth of his skin touching my own. He has made me realize that I truly am not alone.
I have made a promise to protect him, the cursed child who was not meant to exist upon this world. He has been predicted to be the downfall of heaven and earth, a god of war that will bring about an era of darkness and destruction. And even though I know that I may bring about the destruction of the world by aiding him, I shall fight for the sake of him, my little prince, for he is a child that has shown me compassion, cried tears for me, and given me affection.
And, for that, I believe he is not cursed.
With my entire heart, I believe that to be the truth.
That was my second promise.
The last promise is a promise that I made to the one that I respect the most. She was the one who saved me and protected me after the massacre of my clan. She was a passing figure that saved me by taking me in when death was so near to me. She gave me an opportunity to live.
She is one that I respect and hold most dear to me. A beloved person, a precious person… more than revenge, more than kinship burns my affection for her.
And to her, I promised that I would come back to her after my mission, alive.
To me, this is my most valued promise.
It is most precious not because it is a promise that I made with her, the one who I care for most within this world, but because it is a promise that allows me to see that after revenge, after my duty, there is still life. It is a promise that tells me that even after I fulfill my most crucial and most important mission, I still have a life to live. It is the life that she has given me by saving me; it is the life that she has requested back from me. It is the only thing she has truly requested from me.
It has allowed me to see that after revenge, there is still life.
And even though I know that the odds are surely against me, I cling to this promise, to the sound of her harp, the ring of her voice, the beauty of her smile, and the recollection of her in order to push me forward, to never lose faith.
That is my last promise.
I have three promises that I must fulfill.
A promise that I have made to the people that were once here, a promise that I made to the one that is next to me now, and a promise I made to a person that I will meet again in the future. To me, each promise holds a different, important meaning because they are all promises I have made to someone I hold dear to my heart.
Each promise I am striving to fulfill. These promises push me into living, day by day, hour by hour. These promises give me a reason to anticipate the rising of the sun every morning.
These promises are important to me, they are dear to me.
And, in the end, as I watch each promise slowly shatter away helplessly at the end of my life, I hold only one regret.
I wished I had asked her to promise me the same.