Tingle
You cannot pinpoint the exact moment when you realize that you’re in love
with him although you know when it all started to make sense. Before, you never
understood the sudden urge to go to Tokyo. As a self-acclaimed city hater and a
person who found the train ride from Osaka to Tokyo disdainful and often found
it surprising to find yourself in the city once every two weeks for no real
reason at all (well, there was a reason, you just haven’t realized it, just
then)…
It didn’t make sense at first. But it made sense later. It made sense when Tokyo
stopped being a city and became the place where he lived. It made sense when the
train ride from Osaka to Tokyo was no longer a train ride from one destination
to another but instead a method of closing the distance between you and that
person.
He’s brilliant; you and the world both know it so well. He’s been in the paper
and on the news; he’s a superstar detective that rivals you and has even
surpassed you more than once. However, even though he’s brilliant, you know with
a great certainty that he doesn’t realize it just yet. Then again, you can’t
really blame him too much, though it was common knowledge that he was fairly
slow when it comes to the matters of the heart, you were one that has recently
discovered it yourself, your emotions. There was no way he’d figure it out
before you did.
You don’t know if you’re happy or not with that fact that he does not know. You
really don’t want to scare him away but you also find it sort of painful, loving
him. You cannot help but empathize with Ran, who has loved him longer than you
have. Regardless, you believe that you love him far more than she can ever love
him. You love him even though he’s a he; you love him even though he’s trapped
in the body of a grade school student. You’re not gay, nor are you a pedophile
(heaven knows you don’t even like the idea of toying with the concept in your
head); you love him because of his personality, his charm, and his constant
thirst of the truth. You try not to compare yourself with her too much, because
deep inside you know that there will always be a gap that separates the two of
you. This gap is one that you can never deny, no matter how much it aches.
It aches desperately; sometimes it’s surprising how the overflow of the emotion
doesn’t break you. You don’t know what to make of the torn emotions of your
heart as you walk side by side with him, idly listening to him tell you about a
difficult case he had solved a week earlier. You’re overjoyed to be by his side,
but at the same time, you want more than to just spend time along side him. You
want to entwine your hands with his, you want to share kisses, exchange heated
glances and… you want him to love you. More than anything else, that’s what you
want.
You want to make him yours.
He notices that you’re no longer listening to him and inquires if anything’s
wrong. Yes; no; you really don’t know how to answer that. Instead, you do
something that surprises you and him both. You take him into your arms and give
him a hug. The small boy dangles in your arm while you wonder how is it that
someone could make your heart beat this rapidly by just coming in contact with
your skin.
“Hattori-nii-chan,” he says in his childish voice, “you’re hugging me too
tight.”
He squirms a bit, but your grasp is too tight. He can’t escape your embrace -
you don’t let him. You can’t let him. Not when everything inside of you seems
like it’s going to spontaneously combust.
“Just a moment longer, please.” Your voice is raw, and he grows still after
hearing it. He attempts to make some sense of your words and actions but is
running to dead ends. You cling on, finding how intoxicating his scent could be
and how the warmth of his breath caused your body to tingle from your neck down
to your very toes.
“Hattori…”
‘This is the one you love’ your body screams. If you didn’t believe it before,
you believe it now. You don’t ever want to let go of him though you begin to
realize that you won’t be able to control yourself much longer if you continue
to touch him.
To break apart felt like a tragedy, but you drop him to his feet, missing his
warmth already.
He stares up at you perplexed. You ruffle his hair and give him the best fake
smile you can. “Onii-chan couldn’t help it. You’re really just too cute.”
He rolls his eyes and tells you to stop teasing him. The conversation turns
light again, as though the embrace had not happened at all. He talks about how
they’re going to Tokyo Tower tonight and you smile and nod.
Your body continues to tingle from where his breath touched your skin.
It was a difficult story to write... I'm not really sure, the entire second
person and the themes and the fact that I didn't really think up a plot was a
bit... difficult. Hopefully it turned out okay!



